The Sage Observer

California Passes ‘Yes Means Yes’ Law

          In my day, everybody just knew that a girl, when approached for sex, always said “No”; even though they might not really mean it. “No” might mean “Yes”; it might mean “maybe”; or, it might mean “No”. After all, to say “Yes” might make one think she was too “easy” and would go with just anyone, cheapening the relationship in process and jeopardizing her future. The male was supposed to seduce her; and, when she succumbed to his loving charms, he would feel complemented by his sweet success. Everything would be so good.

Over the years, however, it would seem that things have changed. Things have become more formal. “No” means “No”, and it must be said as such, which, if said, immediately terminates the process. In fact if the answer is “Yes”, the process can still be terminated anywhere down the line should anyone of the participant(s) change their mind and say “No”. The rule is “No means No”.

Now, it seems that the rules are, once again, about to change. The legislature for the State of California has passed a new law, now awaiting Governor Brown’s signature which defines sexual consent between people as “affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity”. “Yes” means “Yes” and can be changed anytime within the process by just saying “No”.

Presumably with only the two partners in the room at any one time during the consummation of the sexual act, if one of them claims to have been raped or to have changed their mind and said “No” to terminate the act, it would seem to me that lack of a witness would render the law ineffective—bummer. But surprise—I have a solution to the problem. The State of California should amend the law to require a form to be prepared on which the various stages of the sexual act are identified with a “box” at the beginning of each stage to be initialed by each participant as the act is consummated. When they have “finished”, each partner should sign the form, swearing that they have dutifully obeyed the law and mutually consented to the act which they have just culminated. Then they should have the form officially notarized by an authorized Notary Public and, upon completion, submit the completed form to the Clerk of Courts for the record—problem solved.

Ronald Miller

Email me at mtss86@comcast.net